The Story of Getting Irritated So Easily
2025-04-10
You might think, “Is this menopause or what?” But the reason is simple—I stopped taking birth control pills at the end of last year.
Since we are starting to try for a baby and I am now in my mid-30s, I finally parted ways with the pills I had been taking since my mid-20s.
I was not taking them mainly for contraception, but rather to escape the pain of my periods. Thanks to the pills, I no longer needed to take eight painkillers a day. I stopped having to wear those diaper-type sanitary pads because of heavy bleeding, and I stopped canceling plans with friends because of terrible period cramps. Honestly, it changed my world.
Menstruation is such a personal experience. It starts in your teens, when you do not know much about life, and continues until menopause in your 50s. You never really know how much others bleed, or how much pain is considered “normal.”
During my youth, I just assumed, “Everyone deals with this kind of pain, so I cannot complain.” Looking back now, I really pushed through a lot. (It was only after starting the pill that I learned periods could be painless and light.)
Having gone through all that, it has been nearly ten years since I started taking the pill. Now that I am back to life without it, I feel like my original personality is returning—and with it, a lot of irritation. I feel like everything I touch gets hurt. I had forgotten how raw and intense emotions can be, and how exhausting it is just to feel them. I feel so deeply human.
Feeling these intense emotions again reminded me: “Ah, I used to be like this when I was younger.” My hormonal imbalance used to damage my friendships and end my relationships. I never got violent, of course, but whenever something in my relationships bothered me or someone’s words hurt me, I would carry that emotional pain for a long time.
Now, the challenge is learning how to live with this storm of emotions from here on out.